lost and found

I found the following lines on a folded piece of paper in the recesses of my closet. After reading it, i wondered who I was speaking of. But like every other man in my life, he is barely just a memory.

I watch your lips move 

And hear no words.

I only see the silver in your hair.

Do you notice mine?

Or are you watching my lips 

While I answer you?

We lay quietly unwilling to disturb the others slumber.

And with such consideration 

A disservice is done.

For while we are sensitive to each other’s physical needs 

We only feed our own.

Leaving a gaping hole in our souls.

how did i get here?

in a panic, I pulled into the super drugstore parking lot. I had forgotten that lil t wanted a packed lunch and I didn’t have food in the apartment. I figured I could scrounge up some sort of “lunch” in the food section of this corner drug store.

lil t and I went down isle by isle. he had left his coat on, tagging along behind me in the wake of my frenzy. I was already late for work. as my eyes darted from one over-priced object to the next, lil t didn’t have a care in the world. this was a field trip, look at all these candies and toys.

finally, putting together a misshapen pyramid of a lunch, we went to pay. he asked for gum and when denied he simply said, “okay.” the cashier smiled at me.

and in the moment, I saw myself.

a single mom, on the way to her work, trying to pull together pieces of her life that explode each and every way.

how did I get here?