i’ve been doing so well lately. but tonight i suffered a set back. sometimes i just get exhausted from “keeping my chin up”. i just want to collapse into a heaping mess. every now and then, i allow myself this luxury. so i gave myself a few minutes to feel the grief. and when i embraced it, the pain subsided. these moments are becoming few and far between. progress. even as i finish this frivolous post, the heaviness is lifting. i’m smiling again.
“When Ambition is your God, the office is your temple, the employee handbook your holy book. The sacred drink, coffee, is imbibed five times a day. When you worship Ambition, there is no Sabbath, no day of rest. Every day, you rise early and kneel before the God Ambition, facing in the direction of your PC. You pray alone, always alone, even though others may be present. Ambition is a vengeful God. He will smite those who fail to worship faithfully, but that is nothing compared to what He has in store for the faithful. They suffer the worst fate of all. For it is only when they are old and tired, entombed in the corner office, that the realization hits like a Biblical thunderclap. The God Ambition is a false God and always had been.”—"The Geography of Bliss" by Eric Weiner
These are the moments I miss you most. When the day settles, and the night yawns. The rush of life tapers down to a calm cadence and the sounds of hurry turn into whispers. And there is a silence where there once was your voice. There is a chasm where there once was solid ground. Every where I turn, I find myself lost. You are no where to be found.